Parashat Vayeishev 5785

One of my favorite TV shows growing up (with reruns on METV) was “Green Acres,” the story of Oliver Wendell Douglas, a New York lawyer, and his Hungarian socialite wife, Lisa who move from Manhattan to a farm in a place called “Hooterville.” There they encounter all sorts of characters as they try to make their way in a very different world than they’re used to. Played by the late Ava Gabor, Lisa both fits into the community, and at the same time, doesn’t.

Lisa gets herself in trouble with the men when she tries to empower and elevate the status of their wives. Most memorable for me is the episode where Oliver’s mother sends her hairdresser from New York to Hooterville so the women can get new hairstyles. This creates all kinds of mayhem, and true to the era and the show, by the time the episode is over, things have gotten back to “normal.”

I thought about this as I was reading through Parashat Vayeishev, especially the section about Yehudah and Tamar, which seems to interrupt the rest of the narrative. Briefly, Yehudah–Jacob’s fourth son– marries his son Er to Tamar, but he dies before they have a child. By Levirate marriage laws, she marries Onan, the second son, who refuses to father a child that will belong to his brother. As a result, he dies by God’s decree. Understandably, Yehudah doesn’t want to see the same thing happen to his youngest son, Shelah, and he sends Tamar away to live with her family until he grows up.

When Tamar realizes this won’t happen, she takes matters into her own hands. She dresses up as a prostitute and Yehudah purchases her services, leaving behind his staff and seal as collateral for a lamb, which he will bring at a later date. Fast-forward, he finds out she’s pregnant, and says, hotzi-u-ha v’tisareif, “Take her out and burn her” (Gen. 38:24). But when he’s made aware that she’s carrying his child, he acknowledges his guilt in not bringing her back to marry Shelah.

She gives birth to twins, Peretz, who will become the ancestor of King David, and Zerah, who appears to disappear from the story.

For the most part, women in Ancient Near Eastern societies were relatively powerless, especially with regard to their sexuality, and they weren’t afraid to use their sensuality (and sexuality) to make things happen and further the narrative. One notable comparison is Siduri, in the Epic of Gilgamesh.

To me, the Torah helps to elevate the status of various women by suggesting that they have the gift of prophecy. Rivka, when she’s having a difficult pregnancy, goes to “inquire of God,” who tells her she will have twins, and gives her the information she needs to set Jacob’s story in motion. According to Sforno on Genesis 38:16, “it was God’s wish that Tamar bear a child or two children sired by Yehudah who in God’s eyes was more acceptable than his son Shelah.” Tamar presumably was aware of this, and did what was needed to do to make this happen. She’s also instrumental in changing Yehudah himself.

We don’t know why God might have scorned Shelah, but it’s also interesting that the Holy One wanted Yehudah, the man who had recently sold Joseph to a passing caravan, and who neglected his duty as a father, but clearly, this was the Divine plan.

Ellen Dannin, in an essay for Reconstructing Judaism, writes, “Tamar’s intervention also seems to have been critical in changing Judah from a man with no moral compass, as evidenced by his treatment of Joseph, Tamar, and Er, into one who is eloquent, self-sacrificing, and compassionate when we next see him. Tamar’s actions and Judah’s reactions to them turned Judah to a right path as he became the man who recognized Tzadkah mimeini–she is more righteous than I.”

The story of Yehudah and Tamar is a reminder that our ancestors were human, flawed individuals who didn’t always behave in an exemplary fashion. Yehudah could easily have feigned ignorance when presented with the staff and seal, but had the courage to admit he was in the wrong. Tamar displayed courage and humility in her actions, and while she disappears from the text, merits being the ancestress of King David.

When we read the stories of women like Rivka and Tamar, we need to look beyond the face value of the text that portrays them as deceitful (and the men perhaps as clueless) and see them as true partners with the Holy One in helping to move humanity–and our story–forward.
_______________
Rabbi Susan Elkodsi (AJR ’15) is the spiritual leader of the Malverne Jewish Center in NY and is immediate past president of the Long Island Board of Rabbis. Her writing has appeared on JewishSacredAging.com, and she has presented workshops for Limmud, NY, for AJR and in the community, and her book, Midrash HaZaK: Torah Wisdom by 70 Over 70 (but who’s counting), an anthology of divrei torah for older adults, will soon IY”H be published. Susan is passionate about helping Baby Boomers and older adults to find meaning and purpose in their lives within the context of Jewish tradition and teachings, and as part of a Jewish community. You can find her work on her website, www.babyboomerrabbi.com. In addition, she loves to knit, spin and weave, and she and her husband David recently added kittens Tiggr and Midnight to their family.