Parashat Noah – 5786

Thinking about floods, languages, anger and love

A D’var Torah for Parashat Noah

By Rabbi Anat Katzir (AJR ’22)

As I am writing this D’var, I am feeling flooded. Flooded with so much emotion. Flooded with feelings that I have been accumulating over two years and some that were building even longer.

Hearing the story of Noah and the flood as a child seemed magical, a miraculous tale of survival. But a flood of such proportions seemed unrelatable, unreal, a legend. Something so scary, powerful, non-discriminatory in its destruction, that it could only be a myth. Then two years ago, in one day, the idea of such a flood became all too real as I woke up at 4 a.m. to the updates on the TV as Israeli news was in the background. That part wasn’t uncommon. Falling asleep to the news of Israel continuously playing on the TV. But that morning the headlines were different; they started ominous, concerned and soon turned horrific as the day continued and I stayed glued to the screen unable to move, process or breathe. This barbaric attack was named by Hamas: “Operation Al-Aqsa Flood.”

The question soon followed. How? How could this happen? How, in God’s name, was this possible? How in humanity’s name was this possible?

There was so much pain and as time passed and war proceeded at extreme costs, as war tends to proceed, the pain and grief were joined by despair and anger for many.

Anger seems to me very prominent in Parashat Noah. While the story of Noah and the flood is very rich and full of imagery, the sense of such anger that God must have felt towards God’s creations, towards humans specifically, was so intense and destructive that God was ready to wipe out almost the entire existence of earth. Almost…

This makes me wonder. In this story we have an all-powerful God, creator and destroyer at will. Why, then, not start over entirely? Why save Noah?

Our sages found the answer to that in the verse: …נח איש צדיק תמים היה בדורותיו…״”, “… Noah was a wholly righteous man in his generation…” (Bereishit 6:9). Some interpreted as Noah being beyond reproach, a perfect Tzadik, but that doesn’t seem to fit in with our Torah’s idea of humanity. Rashi had a similar inclination. As he responded to Midrash Rabbah and the story of Noah forgetting to feed the Lion on the ark, therefore proving Noah was not perfect, Rashi explains that the statement of Noah’s righteousness can be explained in two ways. As a perfect model, or relative to his generation. These interpretations also change our expectation, and perhaps our disappointment, even our anger with Noah as his story continues after the flood. Noah was the best of his generation to allow for humanity to resume. Humanity continued, but the disappointment, the anger, the punishments, did not end. Humanity’s challenge of righteous behavior continues even within the parashah.

The parashah continues with the story of the Tower of Babel, which tells us of a time and a world that we could only imagine. A time of shared language. But what was it that they chose to do with this gift of communication? To make a name for themselves by building a Tower. Growing up I was told a version of the story in which the people’s tower was an attempt to reach God in the heavens. To take their place next to God by proving their abilities. In looking at God’s response, it doesn’t seem the tower itself was the issue, but that the tool of a single language would allow for a world of people that act on what they want to do without being stopped. Why does the idea of one language seem to threaten the moral behavior of humanity? In a world where Google Translate can bridge over any language divide, how are we still not finding a way to communicate? Perhaps because it isn’t about the spoken language; it is about not having different expressions, not having a different emotional and moral language that would balance out and prevent bad ideas and actions from taking place. If everyone agreed on everything, there would be no one to question their actions.

Over the last two years the world seems to be spiraling into more anger and gaps in our ability to speak to each other about a shared existence. In any language. Questioning ourselves and each other has turned from challenge and rebuke for the sake of humanity, into hatred and calls to eliminate other voices. It seems like we are losing our path towards respecting and loving our fellow humankind.

One of my favorite teachings in recent years has been the concept of The Five Love Languages, developed by Gary Chapman. It opens the conversation about the way we express a similar emotion in different ways. It helps us understand and communicate better with those who have different expressions around us. This concept opened my eyes to the fact that even in the same linguistic realm, we have a lot to overcome in our communications.

As I look at the main challenges and tensions around our community, I realize that it is not just different expressions of love that cause us to misunderstand each other, but that we are very strongly challenged by the ability to express disagreement and anger. In so many homes, communities, countries, the inability to overcome these tensions is causing a tear between people. A disconnect that is leaving us more and more scattered.

In an article for Psychology Today, psychological first responder Mike Verano writes about “The Five Anger Languages in Relationships.” Their typical expressions are as follows:

1. Righteous: I’m right, you’re wrong. Driven by a sense of superiority, this language can easily escalate to the point where all past episodes of being wrong are thrown into the mix. Entire countries have gone to war over this language.

2. Indignation: How could you? Often softened by a tone of disbelief, the underlying message is that the “victim” did not deserve whatever they received. This is a classic turning-the-tables technique that most often puts both parties on the defensive.

3. Retribution: You’ll pay for that! Often expressed as, “I don’t forgive, and I don’t forget,” or the classic, “an eye for an eye.” One of the more infectious of the anger languages, this expression can be dormant for long periods of time and then served up as the cold dish of revenge.

4. Distraction: What about that time when…? This is the art of deflection and is used to avoid taking responsibility and put the other person on the defensive. It’s the adult version of getting caught with one’s hand in the cookie jar and then getting mad that the cookies inside are stale.

5. Justification: You had it coming. Typically invoked as “karma is a b****” only in this case karma has been given a massive push by someone now sitting as judge and jury.

Verano notes two main things for the readers. First, when anger languages are combined, they tend to lead to rage. This is what brings on a flood. God was right, righteous, and humans were wrong. How could they turn their back on God like that? They needed to pay for it. God has given humans everything they needed to be good. By choosing these corrupt behaviors- they had it coming.

The second message in the article is that all of these expressions of anger come from a different emotion- fear.

Fear is interesting; it can explain all the languages of anger, but it can also be attributed to the languages of love, of loss, of faith. Fear is also translated in our faith as יראה – awe.

So perhaps we can dig into our past existences, to believe that there still is a way to overcome this confoundment of speech that divides us. We don’t need to speak one language, but to honor each other’s expressions. To build together, but to keep questioning ourselves, each other, our values, from a place of awe, for fear of going astray, without pushing each other to anger.

While I find myself in a time of hope, encouraged by the hope for rebuilding and renewing. I recognize the long road ahead of rebuilding our language. And hope that we all, as leaders of our communities, will be the “Google Translate” of the language of healing.

And thank you God, for allowing humanity to continue and allowing the living hostages to be returned to us, to their loved ones. May all the murdered hostages be returned to find their final resting place in hope it allows some healing to their bereaved loved ones.