Parashat Vaethanan – 5785

A D’var Torah for Parashat Vaethanan

by Rabbi Marge Wise (AJR ‘21)

Shalom Hevre,

The haftarah following the Torah reading of Parashat Vaethanan opens with the words Nahamu nahamu ami, the quintessential recipe for comfort for b’nei yisrael following the saddest day of the year for our people, Tisha B’Av. I would like to discuss three themes which I believe are woven into the fabric of parashat Vaethanan: Our love for God, gratitude and the concept of comfort, itself.

Tisha B’Av, for me, always brings to mind a significant memory. Curiously, this year for the first time I was able to reach some closure regarding that memory…. It was early in the afternoon of Tisha B’Av when, decades ago, my husband and I and our two children – both under two years old at the time! – headed out on the next leg of the cross-country trip which we took that summer.

Long story very short, we were driving in Utah when we had a serious automobile accident – with abundant thanks to Gd, we all survived, with only a few scrapes and scratches. The second-hand trailer we had purchased – and our car – didn’t!

As we know, objects can be replaced, lives can’t. We were truly blessed and so very grateful to be alive.

It was a given that I felt so many different emotions following this harrowing experience. I felt enormous gratitude to Gd for sparing us but the responsibility of caring for two babies and of trying to put our lives back together and heal my wounds which I, the driver, sustained the majority of, somewhat papered over what would otherwise have been a knee-jerk response of expressing my gratitude to Gd – by saying birkat ha-gomel, giving tzedakah. It was a nes, a miracle, from Gd that we survived intact and I’m not certain if I acknowledged it as such then. If not, I surely have since and I continue to do, now!

The themes of gratitude, love of Gd and comfort found in this parashah are very much a part of my life. In terms of loving Gd, I have, of course, said the Shema many thousands of times since that Tisha B’Av Sunday so many years ago, but in doing my research for this D’var Torah, somehow I was struck anew by the prescriptive and very powerful verbiage: “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might”. (Deut. 6:5). I’ve taught many students what these words mean but I don’t think that I ever thought about what they meant, in the context of our accident. Looking back from the vantage point of today, I know that my love for God was huge – as it still is – because He protected us from harm, as He has so many times since. We learn that loving God with all our might refers to a monetary expression. I would like to suggest that it also refers to “with all our strength”, emotional and physical, which took on new meaning for me in the aftermath of the accident.

In terms of God’s love for us, this parashah also emphasizes God’s steadfast love for b’nai yisrael, reaffirming His covenant with them, not because of their numbers – on the contrary – but out of His affection for them and out of his commitment to the brit, the covenant which He made to their ancestors.

Surely my gratitude to God is intertwined with my love for God. Parashat Vaethanan teaches us much about gratitude. Moshe Rabbenu opens his discourse to the children of Israel, expressing how good is the land which God gave His people. The words, “Modim Anahnu Lakh, We Thank You” are part of our prayers daily. There are synagogues whose custom it is to involve everyone at Shabbat services in expressing at least one item which they are grateful for.

In addition, the Torah highlights the importance of expressing our gratitude to God in many ways one of which is the ritual of bringing the first fruits to the Temple.

The third theme which I would like to discuss is comfort. Comfort involves action and connection, building on a loving relationship with God as well as on relationships with members of our communities. and with family and friends.

In this parashah, Moses pleaded with God with the word, Vaethanan which means consolation or comfort. Midrash Tanhuma (Vaethanan 3:1) says that prayer is called by many names and asks why Moshe prayed in the language of “tahanunim.” In Rabbi Mychal Springer’s words, “This is because God doesn’t owe God’s creatures anything, “rather I give it to them as a free gift.” We learn this from Exodus 33, when Moses pleads to see God’s presence, God responds by saying: “I will offer grace when I offer grace (hanoti) and have compassion when I have compassion.” The word for pleading—ethanan—and the word for consolation—tahanunim—and the word for grace—hein—share root letters, helping us to understand that the choice of verb conveys that Moshe is hoping his pleading will evoke God’s grace, and that will be the source of Moshe’s comfort. Moshe uses the word vaethanan to say: ten li hinam, “please give me a free gift”.

In this way, God is instructing Moshe to see all that he has, not what he lacks. God is helping Moshe to express a sense of gratitude in the face of what Rabbi Springer calls brokenness:

The comfort comes in seeing the gifts that exist even in the brokenness. The hen, the grace, the free gift, does not depend on reaching the Land. It is already possessed by you. When God tells Moshe that he can see the Land from where he is, God teaches him that the gift, the abundance, doesn’t need to look like what he thought—and hoped—it would look like. If we can find a way to cultivate gratitude, to find ways to affirm rav lakh, enough, then we can experience the hen/grace in our lives. And this is where we can find comfort.

In the spirit of completion and comfort, Gd willing I will finally and formally recite birkat ha-gomel decades after the accident. I will do so with love and gratitude to God and with the realization that any time is the right time to feel comforted by God’s protection and grace.

Shabbat Shalom,

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Rabbi Marge Wise (AJR ’21), is also known as the Journey Rabbi (journeyrabbi.com). Her passion is outreach, her niche is teaching prospective Jews by choice and accompanying them on their journey to conversion. She teaches in person and on Zoom – currently her students span 5 continents and as many time zones!